So now that Ive rambled, I just hope the OP really considers this persons demeanor before putting him in a potentially awkward situation. And the safest answer is still Dont do it.. I met my husband in a bar; I met my previous boyfriend at our mutual workplace. My band's playing at the Speakeasy this Thursday, and I wanted to let you know about it. is it unprofessional to have hickeys at work? Nope nope nope never ok. We were students and had a few regulars known to follow us around the stacks while were working (one would mutter under his breath the whole time, we thought it mightve been poetry ugh). Because to answer the question, there are plenty of opportunities to meet people in the real world that dont rely on one person having to be nice to the other for the sake of their job. You dont know this person, they dont know you! But its so much more likely that any given service worker is being nice to you because their continued employment and paycheck is dependent on being nice to you. Im going to have to think about this one. (Of course, maybe he WAS too embarrassed to ever return, but I cant think of why, because politely asking a person out isnt embarrassing), Thanks mel, a friend in retail recommended the note thing; thats how she began dating a customer. I think you should go for it, but Im optimistic like that. I wouldnt have even thought twice about it it honestly never would have occurred to me that it might cause issues for the employee, or that this was a common issue for retail employees to deal with! It pays Restarting your mission in Red Dead Redemption 2 is relatively simple, provided you know where to go. Girl has a boyfriend but says shes in love with both of us! A Woman, traveling alone!!! Yes, this. If she's completely unresponsive stop immediately. When I saw your name The IT Crowd was the first thing I thought of! Describe the importance of honesty and integrity, especially when dealing with cash and cards. There joined a new cashier in my local food product market. My Question is how can I ask for her number, or ask her out for a coffe while she is on Women deal with this sort of stuff all the time at work, in public, going about errands, etc. I got asked out by a male repeat customer around my age who had always been polite, nonthreatening, was quite nice-looking, and very interesting to talk to. I think the difference was that while he complimented me plenty, it was never about my appearance or anything physical. What does it mean when the girl changes her number after bre My ex gf stood me up. My boyfriend has told me many stories about the waitresses who were in love with him when he was single and I just shake my head in amazement. It can end well! Move on quickly and dont take it personally. Because of that, it can be easy to mistakenly misinterpret them doing their job (being nice to you) as social/romantic interest. Im married, so I definitely wasnt going to ask out the cute liquor store employee who likes the same kind of beer I like anyway. See thats how it should be and how it generally happens in my world, but Im getting the impression that these days theres a lot more creepy people out there and like I said earlier thats just sad that our world has gotten to the point where people assume the worse first and not the other way around. Yes, retail employees get hit on a lot, but on the flip side, I always thought working retail was fun because I got to meet some cute guy customers. She's working, and since she's working as a cashier, her job description doesn't involve being picked up by random guys. Its not so much that its every man or even most men as that its frequent enough, and WHICH man it is is totally unpredictable. Haha I like that! Need help with your relationship? You can guess empowered is too, but there's a third: ability. So I go into a shop to buy some shoes, it's a bit of an oldskool shop where you ask the saleswoman to fetch a box of shoes, try them, etc. For me, once was an uncomfortable first date, once was a few dates, no more, once was an amazing relationship and one turned into a stalker. My suggestion is to not overthink this or make it overly complicated. There are probably a lot of gender dynamics at play too (Im a female, I asked out a male) if the roles were reversed it may feel more awkward. factors in her favor: -she is a very nice, polite person who would definitely have apologized and avoided ever going to that coffee shop again if he seemed offended or creeped out (gives performance flyer). Just a reality check. And I have a boyfriend doesnt even slow down most of these guys. The cashier probably wouldnt know how to find him if he just stopped showing up. We flirted for (probably 5) months and I finally asked him out one day. If you put someone in an awkward position by asking them out when you arent really sure if theyre interested, then you probably shouldnt be mandating (even in your head) how they are to respond. She has never worked a customer service job before so I guess the implications didnt occur to her? Sadly due to lack of nametag I do not. Thank you for the follow-up. For more information, please see our But it was a bit of an eye opener when I saw him making the same friendly conversation with another beer-loving female customer. It seems pointless to overthink when the answer is either yes or no. We go out in public with strangers all the time after all. Also, ten creeps have delivered sleazy pickup lines to her since this morning, you don't need to be the next one. I think the best thing to do is go in right before close and mention something like Ive been craving cheese fries from place super nearby I was going to go with my friend but they bailed. ", Although, if i were you, i would have used that line (but that's me). What I say may sound weird to some, but you can actually be cool and nice to women without any second thoughts. Certainly, it can be that way, but to me, Id take being asked out as a form of flattery, even if I wasnt interested. Whatever. I once had a crush on a guy who worked in retail. What are the prerequisites of whimsy? This x a million. tru dat mirth!!.. Heres my number, no pressure if youre not interested. Its her job to make connections with her customers and, you know, be nice. I need her back. Anyway. Meaning; talking to her each time you go shopping, exchanging some humor and eventually get to know her name. Another option you may consider is going through her manager. I would be so creeped out if someone I was unfamiliar with asked me to stop by their home, even if they phrased it as a party invite. But if he were really, really interested in the girl, might he not go to those places hoping to run into her? Its awkward. 3. and it becomes incredibly annoying and frustrating. My rule is simple. If you really, and I mean really think she's interested (and I mean really, like not in your dreams) slip her a phone number and that's it. I got hit on constantly at this job and hated it, but this guy was different and I always looked forward to seeing him. I mean, she's a cute cashier, she probably gets hit on on the regular. The whole thing was awkward (dude who are you and why are you asking me out after literally 1 minute of interaction?) Theres also the fact that we dont know the OPs gender, and we dont know if this is opposite sex flirtation. Its my practice since to never pursue workers in service, not that it matters so much now. Privacy Policy and Affiliate Disclosures, I own a game store with a terrible manager who I'm afraid to fire. some cookies, ask her if she knows if these cookies taste good. I took her for granted and now shes gone. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Should I just hope that I will meet her after work at the parking area? Too much overthinking going on here. They have to smile and pretend like everything you say is hilarious and engage in chitchat. If you cant meet a stranger in a public coffee shop on your own, how on earth is internet dating supposed to work? I can find out though and that might make things a little less fraught, dynamics-wise, if he is. There is a certain subset of people who enjoy exerting their power over people in customer service positions, and a fair number of men in that subset will flirt with women in customer service as a means of exerting that power. I dated someone for 5 years he was a customer who asked me out. I was happy someone mentioned that. I understand the situation, and if you really want to know her and you think the signs look good, then I suggest go for it. Its not flattering, it makes me cringe. Im a public librarian, married to a patron. Unless hes asexual or asking her out for pointedly platonic motivations with zero thought to the possibility of a romantic or sexual relationship ever developing, its basically the same thing. If the null hypothesis is never really true, is there a point to using a statistical test without a priori power analysis? Super cute girl at a gas station I go to a lot. Hes always nice and professional, but makes sure that his suitor knows that he has a serious girlfriend. No one likes that. So no matter how nice you think you are, you could reasonably make a flirtee feel uncomfortable and trapped into responding to you. For example maybe she likes art and you can suggest to her going to an art gallery together. Point is, right now they don't, and men "doing our usual" isn't going to move the needle. OMG yes. Awkwardness all round. One creative way to ask out a cashier is through lindy hop dancing. Ugh. It feels like a lose-lose situation. The key difference was that he had been coming into my bookstore for at least 6 months and chit-chatting with me about stuff, usually books but other things as well, before asking me out. I guess you will soon find out if she answers e.g. :). Please think very carefully about about out a retail employee. I too worked retail and was both hit on and asked out. I think the thing here, is thatlike someone posted upthreadhitting on versus asking out and what constitutes the line between them is subjective. Many people really dont know how to interact with someone of the opposite sex in a way thats not flirtatious and/or interpret any positive interaction with the opposite sex as flirtation (Im a lot better about this now than I was in my teens and twenties, but I still catch myself thinking/acting like this sometimes). -signed, every woman who has ever been accused of leading a man on for smiling at him, listening to him, or not appearing immediately repulsed by him. Webit takes some time and money to do this.. first come in the shop often (you probably had that part so you can skip that if you like) so she will notice you but yeah.. if she isn't looking at you because she has costumers to help, you still need to get her attention in some way.. you could humiliate yourself by tossing things on the floor or use a Even if she's busy on Thursday, or does not share your interest in this type of event it's a first step. She either says yes or no, and if no you honorably and politely take the rejection. It was awkward, but I realize now that Im probably better off. Anyway, it doesn't have to be a rock band, it could be a sporting match, play, whatever - just as long as it's a small enough venue (Taylor Swift concert is much too large) and the entry cost isn't too high. I'll just assume you're somewhat smart as to not be caught doing this and that you've already made your mind up. She gets a free meal outta this deal so no girl in there right mind would turn you down unless you have come off as a creeper in the past, or she has a boyfriend. How To Get The Man Catcher In Castle Crashers? The OP only seemed receptive to posts encouraging her to do it though. was a customer that I wanted to hit on me! If you are really interested and you think this guy could be something really special then there is a gentle way to go about it. Thats a great approach. I had a long conversation with a nice guy at a mom-and-pop camera store, and I felt intrigued. No real point to this expect to share that I have now been enlightened :). (Helpful hint: if hell only text and wont talk on the phone, that is often a sign that he has an SO of some kind). her safety and comfort was maintained by having someone she knew and was familiar with approach her discretely. In a different life I might have chatted with her more than I did. Pick up something and buy it..from her lane. Im hoping, for the employees sake, it didnt. However, I would go about this very, very carefully and only do it if you are more than reasonably sure that he feels the same way. It doesnt matter anyway, because it will never ever happen again. I dont think its fair to ask people to voluntarily take on that risk at work when theres another approach that will neatly avoid that issue. Privacy Policy. Something like the Pareto Principle is definitely at play here 80% of creepy, inappropriate behavior comes from 20% of the population. People always think theyll be the exception to this, but.ugh. Site design / logo 2023 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under CC BY-SA. young and youngish women in customer-service jobs are frequently dealing with a more-0r-less daily barrage of men who interpret smiled at me and was polite as wants me . maybe?? My band is playing at the Speakeasy Thursday night, we're so excited.". To help us answer, can you edit to give some more detail on the "signs she gave you" which seem promising? Make yourself stupid by doing Im going to respectfully disagree. It's up to you to weigh the pros and cons and do your choice, make the one which will leave you with less regrets as possible. Don't think a girl is attracted to you because she's doing her job. I just want to do my job and part of that job is being nice to people and making sure they are enjoying our services.
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